How To Do Anything
Lots of us want to achieve stuff, which is great, but our big dreams often get hung up when we’re actually faced with the nitty gritty every day lil mountains we have to climb to make progress towards them.
I want to play jazz piano like Herbie, speak german in a relaxed and cool way like the dealers in the park outside my house, and honestly just about every week I have a fantastic new pipe dream about something I want to learn how to do. Because I have read books, I know that means I need to practice things like every fucking day.
I’m good at starting, I guess a lot of people are. I swear I’m determined enough to keep my practice schedule, I swear I’m determined enough to make every sacrifice — everyone knows what it feels like to make that promise. After a couple days or weeks, when it’s time to sit down and face the music, my priorities have been flipped so ridiculously that I can’t believe I was the same person saying what I was saying just like, yesterday.
Honestly though, it’s not always dramatic or even noticeable like that. It’s subtle. I’m busy, I tell myself it’s okay to skip it today cause I have a million deadlines, I forget the next day..
Good news, though! Here’s why it’s actually like, really hard to achieve your goals, and not just that you’re weak:
So, our brains are made up of a bunch of different parts that have evolved separately over time, and the part which wants to learn to play the piano (the neocortex) understands the importance of long term commitment, hard work, and delayed reward, and it gets super excited about my culturally interesting wishes and hopes. It dreams about art, about creativity, about human advancement, and then my fancy neocortex completely gets its ass kicked by another part — my reptile brain.
Our reptile brains are the oldest, least developed part of us. They’re designed to be lazy, to survive. They prioritise short term gains and they encourage you to ignore things which require energy and don’t bring you immediate sex or food or whatever. They don’t give a fuck about culture or pianos. Our reptile brains also require the least amount of energy to run, so they become even more powerful we’re tired or drunk, which is when the fancy neocortex starts to shut down.
So back to the point. How to do anything. How does knowing that there are a bunch of mini mes in our brains with different motivation help us?
Well, by playing games with ourselves, we can change which part of our brain actually controls the decisions we make.
For me, the trick is to develop a process which forces me to think enough about WHY I’m doing something, to activate my neocortex enough to give it the power to make me do the right thing.
So, what we’re going to do is develop a routine, which will help you to do things when you don’t feel like doing them.
Try it with something small which you routinely have to do and hate. For me, flossing your teeth is the perfect example. It’s really, really important for your health. When you’re tired and you just want to get in bed, this feels like climbing Mount Everest.
So play your little mind game.
Remind yourself why you do it. Remind yourself that it’s part of your routine, that you’ve done it before and survived it. Think about what you’re reading right now, and remind yourself that ultimately, you have the power.
Expect the little pinging sensation — fuck this, I’m too tired. Hold on to that feeling, because whenever you feel it, it’s time to play your mind game. Whenever you feel that feeling, remember that you promised to win this fight against yourself. Get used to the feeling of overcoming it.
After you’re done, internalize the feeling of success. Celebrate. Remind yourself how strong you were, remind yourself how much of a mental barrier you overcame. Remind yourself how nice it is to do what you say you’re going to, to beat guilty, and then go to sleep guilt free.
Remember your process. Walk through this. Fucking do it!
With time, it becomes easier. Eventually, it’s automatic.
go for a run.
call your parents.
do your homework.
The thing is, I actually use this. It’s helping me now. It’s not perfect, I definitely still fuck up. And for me, like my mom is happy to remind me, it’s too late to become great at some things. But why not try? Why not give yourself a chance? All you can do is get better. And if you listen to this successful lady, or this successful dude, understanding that you might fail but being willing to try anyway is the greatest way to have any kind of a shot at eternal happiness.
Originally published at dazedandconfused.club on January 3, 2019.
